2

sneaky
16 y/o sf mix

bdld, hx ckd, panc, ibd.
You were so sick. Potassium through the roof, painful, and azotemic. Your kidneys were not happy girlfriend. In 9 hours your bp never got above 68 sys. And yet you wavered from dull and stuporous to depressed but responsive. You grumbled every so often, and i suspect your ketamine/lidocaine probably wasnt wnough, but i was so scared to sedate you with more opioids. I needed to know you were aware, alive, just there.

Im sorry your family couldnt be there for you. With you. By you. I hope your hosptal family was enough. I tried to keep you warm and clean and comfortable. I hope you appreciated it. Sneaky girl...i bet you earned that name.

Work was stressful. 3 euths, 2 transfusions, 1 isolation, 1 septic abdomen.

But at least i get to come home to ranger
My light, my boy, my heart
When he goes, i go

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